she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
