I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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