At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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