i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
