My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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