Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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