my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
