I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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