I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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