Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
nutella sex= disaster
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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