i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
