Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Sorry my hands just texted you
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
