the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
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