Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
