There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
