Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
