It's like God shit irony all over that family
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
