hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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