In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
