My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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