How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
