I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize