this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
