Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
