Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
