sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
