Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
