apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
