Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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