Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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