8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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