WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
