I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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