you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
