I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
well you can't waste a boner
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
