There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
