I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
