I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
