You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
