just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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