It's like God shit irony all over that family
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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