No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
