If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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