Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
