apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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