i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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