I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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