Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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