didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
