I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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