im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
