I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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