singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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