I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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