Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
