butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
