yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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