bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
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I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
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It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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