4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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