p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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