Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
