If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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