so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
