Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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