Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
