So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
