Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
