is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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