Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
