I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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