Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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